The Sweetest Habit: A Bedtime Ritual of Self-Love

Lately, my 3-and-a-half-year-old daughter has started a new habit that completely caught me off guard. It’s so pure and heartwarming that I couldn’t help but share it here. It’s a small moment, but it carries such a profound message about self-love and connection.

Our current bedtime routine is fairly simple. My husband takes our son into his room, staying with him until he falls asleep—a quick and seamless process—while I take my daughter into her room. With her, bedtime stretches out a little longer. We play, chat, or read a story together, then brush her teeth, and finally, she climbs into bed. I stay with her until she drifts off. Usually, the entire process takes a maximum of 30 minutes in total.

Before we begin our separate routines, though, there’s one part of the evening that has become a tradition: the goodnight hugs. My daughter gives her little brother a big hug to say goodnight, then one to my husband, and then to me. It’s always been a sweet ritual, but recently, she’s added something new. After hugging all of us, she wraps her arms around herself in a big hug.

Yes, she hugs herself, and the words follow as well: Eva is hugging Peter, Eva is hugging Daddy, Mama, and Eva is hugging Eva. So sweet.

The first time I saw it, I was stunned. And then, I was in awe. This simple act of self-love struck me as deeply beautiful. At her young age, she’s already internalized something many of us adults struggle to grasp: that loving yourself is just as important as loving others.

Self-love is not selfish—it’s foundational. The more love we cultivate within ourselves, the more it overflows to those around us. Watching her give herself that hug each night, I can’t help but think about how critical it is to nurture and encourage this habit. I hope it’s something she holds onto as she grows, because the world could always use more people who know how to love and appreciate themselves in healthy ways.

I’ve started to see her nightly hug as a reminder for myself, too. At the end of each day, as we tend to others, it’s just as vital to acknowledge and care for our own well-being. A little self-love goes a long way—not only in helping us recharge but in making us better partners, parents, and friends.

As her mother, I feel a responsibility to foster and protect this habit and to model it. I hope to teach her that it’s always okay, even necessary, to pat herself on the back, to recognize her own worth, and to celebrate her wins, no matter how small.

So tonight, and maybe every night moving forward, I’m taking a page from my daughter’s book. A hug for my kids, a hug for my husband, and a hug for myself—because self-love isn’t just for 3-year-olds. It’s for all of us. 💛

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